Meditation — In the shadows of buildings

Because of you
I now walk the streets
like a lost man,
these streets
that knew me so well
and called me by name once.
The windows stare down
at me with pity,
and the street dogs
get out of my way.
Because of you
I now walk
in the shadows
of buildings,
the sunlight
bends around me
so it doesn’t
have to touch me.

Meditation — The speak of you

I have heard
your name
in the wind
on the mountain tops

I have heard it whispered
by the leaves

I have heard it
in the deep voice
of the rumbling rivers,
and in the softest
footsteps
of foxes
in the bush

Everywhere I go,
they speak of you
as if you are
the only sound
that defeats
the silence

Meditation — Palermo

Remember when
we you took me skipping
on the clouds
above Palermo.
That day
your dress
nearly got caught
in the antennas
as you jumped
from rooftop
to red rooftop.
Then we stopped
to catch our breath
when
in the distance
church bells
burst into the wind.
It was a wedding.

Meditation — The dreamers

every night,
when darkness
swallows the day
in a single
mouthful,
i swear to you
by every breath
between my first and last
that i will carry you
in my arms
high above
the other dreamers
all the way
to the sun
so both of you
can be born again
at dawn

Moon ladder — a meditation

Last night
I heard you get up
and followed you
as you quietly,
holding your paintbrush,
slid open the garden door
and walked out.
From behind the curtain
I spied on you
as you dipped
your brush
into the full moon
and painted a white ladder
from the grass
upwards to the stars,
then tucked your brush
into your pajama pocket
and began to climb.
The next morning
you kissed me awake
and in your smile
I could see
a million secrets.

Silent Lake

Nine summers ago I was invited to spend some time in the picturesque town of Gananoque in Canada. We rented a log cabin with access to a large lake where we would wake up to the song of birds and sleep to the rhythm of crickets.

Every morning, after coffee and cigarettes, we would walk down to the lake and get into a small boat to paddle our way around the lake. There were so many nooks to discover.

From the small pier outside the cabin you could see the other side of the bank. A majestic forest stood there, beyond the mirror-smooth lake.

One day, in a moment of nature-loving solitude, I decided to take the boat out by myself and spend some time alone in the serenity of the middle of the lake.

As soon as I got there, in the middle of the lake, and I was equidistant from all its banks, I experienced a new kind of quiet as the water absorbed whatever sound escaped from the thick shrubs.

It was early afternoon and nobody was at the river banks. I was alone.

Oh shit, I was alone.

Suddenly I remembered a scene from a movie I saw as a kid, and imagined a huge dark shadow passing under the boat. Then I imagined that some alien tentacles would come out of the water and pull me down into a watery grave. I imagined monsters coming out of the water and into the boat, then back into the water leaving behind some of my bones floating in a pool of my blood.

I quickly turned the boat around and rowed as fast as I could back to the pier. I ran up to the cabin and joined my friends. They wondered why I was back so soon, and I said it was too hot to be on the lake.

That day I learned my lesson:

No matter what beauty surrounds you, if the darkness is inside you, it will always wait for you to be alone.